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Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship-Laurence Heller Phd,Aline Psyd Lapierre

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Written for those working to heal developmental trauma and seeking new tools for self-awareness and growth, this book focuses on conflicts surrounding the capacity for connection. Explaining that an impaired capacity for connection to self and to others and the ensuing diminished aliveness are the hidden dimensions that underlie most psychological and many physiological problems, clinicians Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre introduce the NeuroAffective Relational Model® (NARM), a unified approach to developmental, attachment, and shock trauma that, while not ignoring a person’s past, emphasizes working in the present moment. NARM is a somatically based psychotherapy that helps bring into awareness the parts of self that are disorganized and dysfunctional without making the regressed, dysfunctional elements the primary theme of the therapy. It emphasizes a person’s strengths, capacities, resources, and resiliency and is a powerful tool for working with both nervous system regulation and distortions of identity such as low self-esteem, shame, and chronic self-judgment.

Book Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship Review :



This is the third book I have bought since I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD. That diagnosis is targeted at my early life through my early teen years from living with a viscerally misogynistic father who told me for years, I was stupid, weak and unworthy because I was female. I have suffered much sexual assault, blatant work place sexual harassment (I was a firefighter), rape, extreme domestic violence and further sexual assaults with gropings. I seem to be on about an every 5 year trend for getting directly assaulted by some random dude. I fill with more and more rage, the more times this happens to me. ALL these psycho-analyst-self-help types want to convince me that the threat is over. At 51 years old, I can affirmatively say: It's been a constant in my life, in random places, from known and unknown, random people, and at about an every 5 years cycle since I was 16. To tell myself the threat is over is a lie. So what the hell is person to do, when history has shown it will likely happen again? I basically have a 35 year history that proves them all wrong. Our society is patriarchic, women are seen as deserving victims, slut-shaming is real, women's complaints about men squeezing their breasts or grabbing and squeezing their upper hips or butt, are met with a "common, that's not so serious" mentality. Perhaps if it were just the one time, maybe I could agree with that idea partially or in whole, but now, with some many times men wanting to make my body their own, and diminish my agency, self-worth and dignity, I see each offense as more egregious as the last. And yet, when I point these assaults out to security, management or otherwise, those in power, I am told to just 'walk away," as the perp is laughing or smiling because they know they got away with it, and I was told to effectively 'sit down and shut up." Patriarchy at it's most privileged. These books don't help. They only enrage me even more, because through their 'science" I am really being told "it's not that bad," "your fears are not legitimate" "sit down and shut up." I will burn them all in my burn barrel, this one included. Why the 2 stars, well there may be something useful to someone anecdotally, or if you are a male victim , but it's definitely no panacea to women assaulted by social patriarchy. It's dangerous in my mind to downplay the constant threat from this and it only empowers the social structure of patriarchy, the quiet side of abuse that allows it, condones it, puts the onerous and shame on women, and laughs behind their backs.
One of the best books I've read to help me move forward on my life path! It's a harder read then 'Waking the Tiger' by Peter Levine but a good follow up, and takes a step further by explaining in detail the differences between shock and developmental traumas, and the different ways we adapt to survive. It's written for therapists so definitely a more difficult read for the average person, but worth the effort. After reading this book I found myself letting go of blaming myself for my own personality 'flaws' (called adaptive styles) and of the feeling of not being enough. I have become more knowledgeable and accepting of the therapy process. I also found this book exceptionally helpful as a parent. I find I am now accepting the role I unwittingly played in my children's development, without blame. And I hope to better understand and relate to them as adults. Heller & LaPierre provide a few suggestions at the end of the book to therapists on how to best work with their clients. These could be beneficial to the layman looking for a therapist. There is no self-help or how-to advice, other then through better understanding and to have patience with the therapy process.

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